“Bite Me Charlotte!” Overcoming your Nay-Sayers…

Imagine yourself on the CNBC show “The Big Idea” with host Donny Deutsch saying  “Bite Me Charlotte” to millions of his viewers.

Donny then fires the question, “Kim, how did you overcome your nay-sayer Charlotte to achieve great success?”

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The answer starts when my family experienced a financial hardship and I needed to seek employment to get us through a rough patch. Without a formal education, I was forced to seek anything that had a paycheck.

That job came in the form of being the French fry girl at my local Mc Donald’s. After graduating up to the prestigious cashier position, my nay-sayer appeared one day. Her name was Charlotte, an old grade school mate of mine.
In school, Charlotte was the nerdy girl who wore glasses and braces. I was the cheerleader who was deemed most likely to succeed.

There I was smiling ear to ear, toting my MD visor, and armed with a shaker of salt,  “Hi, I am Kim, welcome to Mc Donalds, how can I help you?” Charlotte recognized me immediately and nestled her hands on her hips, cocked her head back, and snarled to me “I thought you would be the successful one, not flipping burgers for the rest of your life.” Chuckling as she walked away.

WOW! I stumbled around for something cleaver and sophisticated to say to her, but all I could do was shrug my shoulders and lower my head in humiliation. Was I really such a looser that all I was worth was flipping burgers?

Now, let me tell you, that is not me. I am very strong and opinionated. I am a confident, overly sassy sister who was brought down to my knees by a few insensitive words.

It was not that Charlotte said anything that knocked the wind out of my lungs; it was what she did say that made me doubt my worthiness. I rationalized that she must be right; I must have not amounted to much because who is standing behind this counter serving fries.

I felt small and ashamed of whom I was; and that geeky girl made me feel worthless.

I did not realize it then, but I was about to embark on a life changing decision to start my own business. I did not ever want to encounter that humiliating feeling again.

To add insult to injury, later that day my supervisor proceeded to pinch me in the arm so hard that she lift a big black bruise and all because I was talking too long to a customer. Boy, a double whammy in one day! It was too much for me to take. I knew then and there that I deserved more out of life than what I was getting.

Looking back now, I was the problem, not Charlotte. I allowed someone to make me question my own worthiness. In retrospect, Charlotte did me a huge favor that day. She made me realize that I was put on this earth for greater things.

Charlotte put that flame under me to seek out my true potential and not settle for a paycheck for serving fries. So, for this I thank my Charlotte, and so should you thank the ‘Charlottes’ in your life. Be grateful that your fire is now ignited.

Who is your Charlotte?

Have you experienced someone telling you that you cannot start and run a business successfully? Or the product idea you want to bring to market, will never amount to much?

Let me tell you, those words can stun someone right into a daze and make them retreat from taking themselves serious. My story of overcoming and beating my Charlotte is not unique, nor unbelievable. It happens all the time and you must learn to tune your negative influences out.

You must find the strength, courage and relationships that will support you and help you move forward.

The roughest part of dealing with negative influences in your aspirations of becoming self sufficient, emotionally and financially, usually come from within your own family or inner-circle of friends.

You know your mother or best friend that tells you that your idea is silly and that you cannot make a product that people will buy. Most of time your close allies do not even know they are being nay-sayers, for in their minds they are only trying to protect you and shield you from any kind of failure.

These nay-sayers should be dealt with diplomatically, lovingly but firmly.

They need to understand your dreams and that you need their support, not negativity. Tell them you love them very much, but your passionate about your idea and will do whatever it takes to achieve success.

After a while, you will most likely change their way of thinking by showing consistency in your convictions and determination.

Then there are the Charlottes! These are the people that really do not want you to succeed. They feel some sense of superiority over you, and they are threatened by the prospect that you would try and could accomplish your dreams.

They will try and interfere, at any cost. They are the ones most likely to end a long term frienship with you because of their own insecurities.

To those nay-sayers, it is OK to say “Bite Me”….. Charlotte!

Always DREAM BIG!     

Kim B.