The following is an excerpt from “The Miracle Morning for Entrepreneurs” by Hal Elrod, Cameron Herold, with Honorée Corder, in agreement with Hal Elrod International, Inc. Copyright © Hal Elrod International, Inc., 2016.
Here’s the hard truth: If your life and business are not where you want them to be, it’s all on you.
The sooner you take ownership of that fact, the sooner you’ll begin to move forward. This isn’t meant to be harsh. Successful people are rarely victims. In fact, one of the reasons they are successful is that they take absolute, total, and complete responsibility for each and every aspect of their lives—whether it’s personal or professional, good or bad, their job or someone else’s.
While victims habitually waste their time and energy blaming others and complaining, achievers are busy creating the results and circumstances they want for their lives. While mediocre entrepreneurs complain that their prospects aren’t buying for this or that reason, or that it’s their team’s fault for underperforming, successful entrepreneurs have taken 100 percent responsibility for finding the right prospects and, more importantly, acquiring the skills necessary to build volume and get people started correctly. They’re so busy working that they don’t have time to complain.
I heard Hal articulate a profound distinction during one of his keynote speeches: “The moment you take 100 percent responsibility for everything in your life is the same moment you claim your power to change anything in your life. However, the crucial distinction is to realize that taking responsibility is not the same thing as accepting blame. While blame determines who is at fault for something, responsibility determines who is committed to improving a situation. It rarely matters who is at fault. All that matters is that you are committed to improving your situation.” He’s right. And it’s so empowering when you truly start to think and act accordingly. Suddenly, your life, and your results, are within your control.
When you take true ownership of your life, there’s no time to discuss whose fault something is or who gets the blame. Playing the blame game is easy, but there’s no longer any place for it in your life. Finding reasons for why you didn’t meet your goals is for the other guy, not you. You own your results—good and bad. You can celebrate the good and learn from the so-called bad. Either way, you always have a choice about how you respond or react in any and every situation.
One of the reasons this mindset is so important is that you are leading by example. If you’re always looking for someone to the blame, your team sees that, and they likely don’t respect it. Like a parent trying to bring out the best in their kids, the people you lead are always watching you, and it’s crucial to live by the values that you want to instill in each of them.
Here’s the psychological shift I suggest you make: Take ownership and stewardship over all your decisions, actions, and outcomes, starting right now. Replace unnecessary blame with unwavering responsibility. Even if someone else drops that ball, ask yourself what you could have done, and, more importantly, what you can do in the future to prevent that ball from being dropped. While you can’t change what’s in the past, the good news is that you can change everything else.
From now on, there’s no doubt about who is at the wheel and who is responsible for all your results. You make the calls, do the follow up, decide the outcomes you want, and you get them. Your results are 100 percent your responsibility. Right?
Remember you are in the position of power, you are in control, and there are no limits to what you can accomplish.
Related: Learn How to Fail Fast in Order to Succeed
Where is your self-discipline?
Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do the things that you know are in your long-term best interest. In many cases, it is simply the ability to resist short-term temptation. When used wisely and with common sense, self-discipline becomes one of the most important tools for self-improvement and entrepreneurial success.
Self-discipline is helpful when addressing addictions or any kind of incongruous behavior. It will improve your relationships, help you develop patience and tolerance, and is important for attaining success and happiness. Imagine having the self-discipline to handle anything that comes your way.
How does self-discipline help you? Let me count the ways…
- Keeps in check self-destructive, addictive, obsessive, and compulsive behavior.
- Gives you a sense of mastery and balance in your life.
- Helps to keep inappropriate emotional responses in check.
- Eliminates feelings of helplessness and dependency on others.
- Helps to manifest mental and emotional detachment (really important as an entrepreneur), which contributes to peace of mind.
- Enables you to control your moods and reject negative feelings and thoughts.
- Strengthens self-esteem, confidence, inner strength, self-mastery, and willpower.
- Enables you to take charge of your life.
- Makes you an emotionally stable human being.
Related: Sign up to receive the StartupNation newsletter!
How to develop self-discipline
1. First, you need to identify the areas of your life where you need to gain more self-discipline. Where do you find yourself lacking?
Possible areas could be
- Eating
- Spending
- Drinking
- Working
- Gambling
- Smoking
- Obsessive behavior
- Procrastinating
- Loving (yes, love requires discipline in the long term)
2. Try to identify the emotions that indicate a lack of control, such as anger, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, resentment, pleasure, or fear.
3. Identify the thoughts and beliefs that push you to behave in an uncontrolled manner.
4. Several times a day, especially when you need to exert self-discipline, repeat one of the following affirmations (or create one of your own for the situation) for one or two minutes:
- I am fully in control of myself.
- I have the power to choose my emotions, thoughts, and actions.
- Self-discipline brings me inner strength and leads me to success.
- I am in charge of my behavior.
- I am the master of my life.
- Self-discipline is fun and pleasurable.
5. Use the V in your Life S.A.V.E.R.S. to visualize yourself acting with self-discipline. Think of an instance where you usually act with a lack of discipline and visualize yourself acting calmly and with self-mastery.
