How To Start A Home Business Career… By Ending Your Current Career

19 Sep 2007


StartupStella - is she fiction or is she entrepreneurial fact?! Welcome to the wry world of Stella, a home-based hoot who graces the pages of StartupNation with her rants, observations and twisted advice, reflecting the realities of what life is really like as a home-based entrepreneur.

Here are some fun snapshots of my life.

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So many of you are stuck in boring, nine-to-five jobs. All I can say is I feel your pain.
I know you really want to start a home business, but are a little afraid. It’s difficult to leave the confines of a regular paycheck and the comfort of a plush, adjustable office chair.
Of course, I want to help. I want to give you that initial push over the cliff, so that you HAVE to start a home biz.
So I have compiled the Top Ten Things to Say or Do to Help Begin A Home Business Career.”
Here they are:

10. Refer to your boss or supervisor as “chicken neck” during meetings.
9. At odd times throughout the day, yell, “I am not an animal! I’m a human being!” at the top of your lungs from your desk.
8. Ask your co-workers to push you in your office chair from meeting to meeting.
7. Move the tables in your break room, lay a blanket down, and eat your lunch picnic-style. Everyday.
6. Tell everyone in the office that you actually work for your company’s biggest competitor and wear shirts with the competition’s logo.
5. Insist on being called, “Dr. R.O.I.” or “Fiddy Percent” by the entire staff.
4. Bring in a metal detector and sweep the halls while you tell people you’re looking for “Me Gold!”
3. Leave rambling voice messages implicating the Federal Reserve, the military-industrial complex, and rogue elements of the marketing department for the Kennedy assassination.
2. During important meetings, whip out your cell phone and pretend to place bets on horse races.
1. Heckle your CEO during the company pep rally with chants of “LoooooSerrrr.”

I’m pretty sure that if you do just a few of these things, you’ll be on your way to creating the home business of your dreams!
And, you’ll know exactly who to thank.
Oh. And you’re welcome.


“Startup Stella contributes to this blog from her two-dimensional world, which you can learn more about by visiting this cartoon strip StartupNation created to share Stella’s quirky but classic entrepreneurial epiphanies with you.”

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