How To Start A Home Business Career… By Ending Your Current Career

Latest posts by StartupStella (see all)

So many of you are stuck in boring, nine-to-five jobs. All I can say is I feel your pain.
I know you really want to start a home business, but are a little afraid. It’s difficult to leave the confines of a regular paycheck and the comfort of a plush, adjustable office chair.
Of course, I want to help. I want to give you that initial push over the cliff, so that you HAVE to start a home biz.
So I have compiled the Top Ten Things to Say or Do to Help Begin A Home Business Career.”
Here they are:

10. Refer to your boss or supervisor as “chicken neck” during meetings.
9. At odd times throughout the day, yell, “I am not an animal! I’m a human being!” at the top of your lungs from your desk.
8. Ask your co-workers to push you in your office chair from meeting to meeting.
7. Move the tables in your break room, lay a blanket down, and eat your lunch picnic-style. Everyday.
6. Tell everyone in the office that you actually work for your company’s biggest competitor and wear shirts with the competition’s logo.
5. Insist on being called, “Dr. R.O.I.” or “Fiddy Percent” by the entire staff.
4. Bring in a metal detector and sweep the halls while you tell people you’re looking for “Me Gold!”
3. Leave rambling voice messages implicating the Federal Reserve, the military-industrial complex, and rogue elements of the marketing department for the Kennedy assassination.
2. During important meetings, whip out your cell phone and pretend to place bets on horse races.
1. Heckle your CEO during the company pep rally with chants of “LoooooSerrrr.”

I’m pretty sure that if you do just a few of these things, you’ll be on your way to creating the home business of your dreams!
And, you’ll know exactly who to thank.
Oh. And you’re welcome.
Stella

___

“Startup Stella contributes to this blog from her two-dimensional world, which you can learn more about by visiting this cartoon strip StartupNation created to share Stella’s quirky but classic entrepreneurial epiphanies with you.”

Total
0
Shares
Previous Article

How Do You Do, Oh Home Biz Guru?

Next Article

Invention is the Necessity of Mothers

Related Posts
home-based businesses
Read More

The Value of Home-Based Businesses to Economic Recovery

The challenge of America’s economic recovery, in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, is to spread it to every community – and especially those that have been historically excluded. The key to meeting that challenge is to appreciate the civic and economic value of an overlooked resource: home-based businesses. There are about 16 million home-based...
Bartesian
Read More

A Q&A with Ryan Close of Bartesian: Creating and Marketing a Game Changer

Bartesian started as a dream for Ryan Close. But in just a few years, his cocktail company had 975% year-over-year growth and more than $50 million in sales. The business is a media darling and has been featured in such publications as Forbes, Esquire, People and others. And not just every product lands on Oprah's...
entrepreneur
Read More

Don’t Quit and Other Lessons from a Wantrepreneur Turned Entrepreneur

I’ve tried many businesses and side hustles over the past 15 years. I’ve mowed lawns, was a DJ at weddings, negotiated real estate deals, started an e-commerce business, and many others. Some of those endeavors made me money, but others didn’t. Now I have a successful digital marketing agency. People often ask me how I...
payroll loan
Read More

The Best Business Loans to Help with Payroll

When faced with the unexpected, coming up with the capital needed to pay employees on time can be challenging. While it’s important to budget and allocate cash accordingly, financial challenges and unplanned costs are common for all businesses. The good news is, there are a variety of small business lending options that can provide you...