Outsourcing Errands and Excuses My Kids Make

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Kids pick up things–not, like, their clothes or anything useful. But they do pick up attitudes and conversations. And then they use them against you.

Take my kids, for example.

Since my foray into the entrepreneurial world, the excuses I get from my kids have totally morphed into start-up business speak and buzz words. Last week, I saw the little neighbor boy taking our trash to the curb–that’s my son’s job. My son replied that he was “outsourcing the job to better concentrate on his own skillset.”

I noticed my daughter was vacuuming and dusting at the same time. She claimed she was multi-tasking. It was one way she could “double-up on her productivity for improved work-life balance.” In other words, she wanted to watch TV.

Both have asked–from time to time–whether they could begin to tele-commute to school. I was also told that when we plan next week’s vacation, I should consult their Life Plans. They want something that’s going to fulfill them “across the spectrum.”

When my husband threatened to speak to our kids about worker’s rights and organized labor, I threatened to teach him about creating company spin-offs, which would result in the loss of roughly half his assets.

I guess labor relations is just another skill to be mastered as a Domestic CEO.


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