My Social Networks Don’t Work At All

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Don’t get me wrong. I love to network. I love to go do the face-to-face with clients and customers. I love beatin’ the streets, hittin’ the pavement, knockin’ on doors, etc.

But, when it comes to all these social networks, I’m hopelessly, helplessly lost. Just about every day, I have a friend… or a customer… or someone who wants to sell me iPods… ask me to be their friend on Facebook, or MySpace, or Friendster, or Delicious, or whatever weird-sounding website name is in vogue today.

And just as soon as I do, I get another invite: Are you on Second Life?

Second Life? I barely have a first one. So, I join that. (What the heck, at least everyone looks cartoonish on that site.)

Twenty-three seconds after I join Second Life, I get an IM: Do you Twitter? I reply, Is that some type of drug? Actually, it’s a microblog, they respond. And, then they go on to say you can use Twitter to write deep thoughts, like: “I’m using the can,” or “Why would Colonel Mustard use a candlestick in the Parlor? Shouldn’t he have access to firearms?”

Do you know what I need to join now? An Anti-Social network.

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